I’ve decided to post a blurb every day as a small step in journalling my passing days. In addition, I’ll also record a few minutes of every day so I can compile them into a video by the end of the year with each day being about 2 seconds long.
Life is precious, long, dull, exciting and confusing. The older I become, the more I realize I’m not the protagonist of some long epic but am just one person in a scene with many other actors. I have an unfinished script in my hand, and other people have theirs. I’m not the main focus of the story, I just know more about my character than others.
By changing my mindset from being the hero of a story that has things happening to them to one who is more active in pursuing how my character develops, I am unburdened from the frustration of waiting.
As a kid, I imagined a thrilling destiny awaiting me in the adult world. If only I could get there faster! This magical destination where the possibilities were endless, mistakes were chalked up to inexperience and I could buy anything I wanted with my adult money.
This destination exists and it can be magical. It really can. However, the saying “happiness is a journey, not a destination” holds true. Our happy place isn’t a place but a walk. It’s a twisted trail filled with surprises and non-surprises. The sad thing is, I was blazing through this trail without really looking around to enjoy it. Go to school, get good grades, get a job. These milestones were meant to be fulfilling, and they are, but it wasn’t what made me happy. I felt (and still feel) like I was waiting for something to happen. Waiting has led me to be a passive observer letting friends and family fall at the wayside.
Fuck waiting! Life doesn’t owe me anything whether I’m a good person or not. Things happen and we learn from them, sometimes more than once. Instead of waiting for my destiny to be revealed by a wizard, I can make my own choices about the kind of person I turn out to be.
I am the writer of the script I hold, and I’m gonna make damn sure it’s a good story.